There have been many ‘saviours’ in my life that miraculously arrived to help and encourage me. Despite my dubious behaviour and my often selfish outlook, I have somehow always been blessed with incredible friends who have come alongside me and helped me to weather some truly stupendous events.
‘The Rors’ was one such person. We had worked together at the video shop and had become fast friends. He is and was, also a Saggitarian, with all the crazy mental processes and bright colour one would expect. He had just endured a soul sucking divorce from a woman he had really loved, but somehow he had still managed to find space in his heart for me. He wasn’t a soppy idiot and had just the right dose of ascerbic humour and energy that I so desperately needed.
I met him at a time when I was trying to survive leaving my fiance, debt, demon churchy interventions and life in general. All said – I was a mess!
Looking back it has to be said that if he had an iota of sense he would have taken one look and run like hell – but he didn’t. Despite feeling the bruising of what he had experienced, he was willing to be MY friend.
Rors was magnificent. He made me laugh more than anyone I knew. He was intelligent and kind and warm and my goodness but he could dance! When my daughter would have a sleepover at dad’s house he would take me out dancing and partying and still be willing at 3am to find an all night shop when I suddenly had a ‘Nak Attack’ (craving for Niknaks, cheesy chip things made in SA).
I adored him. That said I cannot think of one occasion when I did anything for him! When I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there, when I was losing my mind with stress, he was there, when I had to move again he was there.
Even then I knew how special he was. I wished that I could fall in love with him, but it wasn’t to be. I like to think that the Universe had sent him to help me, but protected him by making sure I wasn’t attracted to him, because God knows I would have ruined him.
Eventually he went overseas and we lost contact. The funny thing is that I had got his email from his folks and could never get the mails to go through – and yes they were correct! Same thing with the phone numbers. It was only fairly recently that I managed to re-connect with him again, and finally got to see him when he and his fiance came down for a visit.
I was so excited. I loved this man! I couldn’t wait. As they walked up I flew out of the building and hugged him. Needless to say his fiance wasn’t very happy. She tried her best but I could see that the thought of spending an entire night with a strange, mad woman who was hugging her man was a little much.
During the evening I tried to drop into the conversation that Rors and I had never and would never be ‘involved’, but I don’t think it helped overly much. After all how could I explain it?
This man had quite literally saved my sanity. With his particular brand of funny and crazy he had befriended me when I was lonely and broken. He had accepted me without question in a way that years later still meant something.
I’m not sure if either of them will ever read this but if they do:
Rors you are one of the finest men I have ever met. Thank you for helping me when I was completely undeserving. Thank you for the laughter, the fun and the downright crazy!
‘Mrs Rors’ – I will always love your man, but not in a way that should cause you pain or fear. He is a magnificent human being. Look after him well and know that there are very few people on earth that will love and accept you good, bad and ugly. He is one such person.
He is just one of many that have saved me from myself and as time permits, I’m going to attempt in my own way to pay tribute to them all.
My hope for the future is that I will be able to pay the blessing forward and encourage and love the next ‘me’ with the same grace and committment that my ‘saviours’ have shown.