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Depression, Hopelessness and a few hundred Angels

31 Mar

Build your Bridge to FreedomThere are many times in my life that things felt dark and grim. I have learnt to call on heavenly help instead of mucking about in the dirt. Single parents so often get stuck on a rollercoaster of busy and endless work and routine. It’s truly enough to break chunks off a girl! I’m not a religious person but I have come to accept the presence of Angels and other Celestial beings who are always available to help and guide. The following was written during yet another period of depression and hopelessness and after bitching up a storm this is the response I was given.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

You are too hard on yourself.

The world is a wonderful place full of exciting things to see and be, but is also a world of opposites. Where there is joy there is sadness, where there is abundance there is lack.

Life is circular. There is a time and place for every experience. To honour and appreciate one, you MUST experience the other.

Don’t be impatient. Think only of the things you desire.

Switch off the TV and the DVD’s. Read, think, dream, explore ….get out of the flat. Get outside, breathe the fresh air, re – juvenate your senses. Create a quiet space for your mind to release itself.

Change your routines, HAVE NO ROUTINE, do something new every day.

Speak to every interesting person you meet.

Change the way you think and react.

IF IT IS NORMAL TO BE CONDESCENDING – BE KIND, IF IT IS NORMAL TO BE GROUCHY- REJOICE.

Shake off the old energy and the ideas will flow. Sing, listen to music, engage with your children and all others around you.

Avoid toxic relationships as much as possible. Be loving but firm in your choices.

Avoid gossip – walk away! It’s not good enough just to remain silent, remove yourself from it completely. It will soil and blacken your spirit.

Don’t judge yourself or others…and you WILL break the cycle you are currently in. Just BE.

All your dreams can be realised if you are willing to let go, let go of all your pre-conceived ideas, let go of all your fear, just let go and live…minute by minute, second by second.

Experience everything, stop disconnecting. Look for the good…ALWAYS and you will find it.

You have made the box that imprisons you, SO YOU CAN UNMAKE IT. 

Its not as hard as you may think, and it doesn’t take that long.

Feel everything, cry, laugh, rejoice and storm……

Feel so that you can FEEL

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Needless to say I took the advice! I stopped disconnecting with my kids when I was in busy mode, I stopped and listened and gave them what they needed from me. I was instantly released from single mommy annoyed mode!

I stopped blitzing my mind with endless activity, I made a conscious effort to avoid ugly gossipy conversations at work, I began to slow down and breathe.

I walked more instead of bussing, I listened to music that filled me with joy and read books that inspired and strengthened me, also began avoiding the carnage contained in our daily newspaper.

It wasn’t long before the heavyness lifted and my joy began to restore itself. I was still able to acknowledge my pain, but I also began to be able to acknowledge the good stuff too. I then added the magical ‘cure – all’ ingredient – GRATITUDE and miraculously all those dark and sad areas started to look very different and I began to feel very different.

It’s funny how the simplest lessons are the hardest to stick to – rebellion really is entrenched in us. What I’ve described above works, always, no exceptions. Unfortunately it’s a simple lesson that I need to remind myself of often. It’s a process I have to repeat from scratch every time.

I’m hoping one day that this part of myself will be on autopilot….

Depressed? Exhausted? Lacking inspiration?

Click, whirr…………….Slow down, breathe, rejoice and be thankful!

It’s a nice thought! Sadly, genuine life-giving living does in fact require a little more commitment. No amount of pills, booze or cigarettes really take the place of allowing yourself to breathe.

There is one point I want to add to what I’ve written here: There is no perfection on this side of the veil!

If you have experienced heartache – it’s going to hurt, sometimes for years. For some of you depending on where you’re at, are going to bleed for a long time before you can breathe. With that in mind it sounds cruel to offer such advice. It sounds beyond foolish to think that after what you’ve experienced you can just release and rejoice!

This is the rub. There ARE times when nothing will work. There are times when we need to just grieve and fall to pieces. There are times when we don’t have the strength or desire to be thankful for a damn thing – and with good cause. But life really is circular. No matter how much pain you’re in today, tomorrow it may be less, and the next day it may subside even more. It is at those times that the above can work, even if only to a degree and IF the big IF, you want it to.

The results are always different. A manic depressive person may follow the advice and go from thoughts of suicide to dark and desperate sadness, a person having a bad day might go from miff to gloriously joyful. If you’re reading this you may not be able to hit the gratitude button just yet and even if you do it probably won’t work as well for you as for someone who has never experienced your pain and loss, but it will still work!

I’ve read hundreds of self-help books and usually when life was revolting. There’s nothing worse than hearing from an overly chipper person abouth how easy it is to be free. Our lives and minds work in degrees. Committing to things that set us free is vital. The results however are as different as we are.

You may never be bubbly, you may never completely eradicate the darkness, but if you are willing you CAN create a way to lessen it. It is possible to see beauty despite what you have experienced. And if you’re determined, it might just be enough to keep you sane and hopeful.

Life is often mercilessley difficult, but it is also equally magnificent. Most of our earthly experience depends on us. Our responses and choices and decisions are our to make. You can either exist in a bubble of pain created by yourself and those around you, or you can find your fire and say ‘fuck it’ I want to live.

Find a way, make a way, don’t give up!

Live your life to the fullest, for yourself, and for those to whom life has been denied.

It’s precious and sacred, and so is everything you feel.

Acknowledge your right to breathe, and live free, no matter how long it takes!

 

 

 

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2 Comments

Posted by on March 31, 2013 in Strings of Sentences

 

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2 responses to “Depression, Hopelessness and a few hundred Angels

  1. Mark Whelan

    April 3, 2013 at 11:17 am

    inspiring, sage, i gather the writer speaks from both the heart and experience. worthwhile advice for those who need it.

     
  2. Natasha

    April 1, 2013 at 8:48 am

    Very inspiring Mom. I think a lot of people can relate. I certainly can. I find excercise and ‘healthy living’ to be extremely therapeutic. if you can incorporate a healthy routine into your life it is much easier to keep the flow of positive, creative energy going X

     

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