I was pregnant, alone and thoroughly broken. The thought of becoming a single mother all over again was horrifying. While raising my eldest daughter we had been desperately poor and without any support from my family. I just couldn’t go through it again. I had always been vehemently against abortion, but I knew that this time it was the only thing I could do.
I went to the local government hospital to book an abortion. It’s now legal in this country, but that said, the staff that are forced to work in this particular section hate it! It goes against everything they believe is right. Although the elderly nurse that counselled me was kind and understanding, the rest of the staff was most definately not. They don’t make it easy for you at all. By the time I had managed to make the appointment I was sobbing!
and it didn’t end there…..
I went to work that night and told the staff what I had decided. The mamma’s in the kitchen were horrified – culturally it is a total no, no! The eldest mamma drew me gently aside and with tears in her eyes begged me not to go through with it.
‘Give the child to me’ she said, ‘I’ll raise it for you!’
and yes, she WAS serious! She said that children are a gift from God and we didn’t have the right to destroy them – well that conversation nearly finished me off! I was completely taken aback by her willingness to raise my child despite the fact that she earned a modest salary and was already supporting her grandchildren.
A day or so later I was sitting at the restaurant keeping one of the customers baby’s amused. I used to sit down on a chair and hold them under the arms and gently swing them back and forth – it worked like a charm. As I was doing this I suddenly saw myself with my new baby, doing the same. That picture floored me.
It wasn’t long after that when my eldest daughter, the Seasprite cornered me on the balcony one night to chat about the future when she suddenly burst into tears and begged me not to go through with the abortion. I told her that I hated the idea but that I couldn’t bear the thought of struggling to raise another child on my own. Despite what I had said her pain really moved me – she had echoed exactly what I’d been feeling.
The following day I made a decision. I would NOT abort my child. Before I could change my mind I went back down to the hospital and asked to speak to the matron. ‘Sister Severe and Unforgiving’ came up to me and asked what she could do for me. I stammered that I had booked an abortion but wanted to cancel. Before I knew what was happening this hardcore nurse walked up to me with tears in her eyes and hugged me! ‘God bless you my dear, God bless you!’
Well I was finished. She duly announced to the room at large that I had changed my mind and removed my name from the ‘death register’. I left there in tears with smiles and words of encouragement from all the staff.
I had no idea how I was going to cope and with a fair knowledge of how bad it could get, I was frankly terrified. I’m not sure if I would have cancelled the abortion had I known just how desperate things would become – what followed was worse than anything I could have imagined.
It was also, ultimately to become the second greatest blessing I have ever received……………..