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My Lioness – The Extraordinary Ilona Kolbe

19 May

I’ve spent a long time thinking of how to write this tribute.I didn’t want to do a replay of previous one’s because this particular lady deserves so much more.

‘I am writing you a letter sweetheart, a very public letter, so that the things you have done for me can be appreciated and admired by whoever reads this blog.’

Dear Ilona

You’re very tall, do you know that? Of course you do!

It’s one of the things I like most about you – I always felt safe and protected and never more so than we you agreed to be my birth partner when The Diva was getting ready to arrive.

You said it was an honour to share that experience with me – I considered it a lifesaver. After all the heartache I had gone through during my pregnancy I knew I was going to end strong, because you were at my side.

There’s something to be said for kitchen tables, there’s a magic about them truly. The hours we talked and laughed and cried and bemoaned our fates. Cups of coffee, strong, one sugar and a decent dollop of milk, accompanied by the never-ending ciggy’s. Our kids were young when we first became friends. Your gorgeous daughter already a little artist and an absolute sweety and that brilliant golden-haired son who could recognise and explain every dinosaur at age 2!

I was a hardened ‘happy clapper’ when I first met you and a hardened hypocrite! Always looking down my nose at your readings and attempting to lecture you on the finer points of life – why you tolerated me I’ll never know…….actually why DID you tolerate me? Seriously?

I think If we added all the time I spent in your world there would literally be years attributed just to eating your food – funny that! I just loved visiting you. Your home was always a place of light and love, kids, animals, music, TV, pots and pans.

I’ve been mentally compiling a list of all the things you did for me and I realised that there really was no way to do it – there was too much. Then I began to think about what really touched my heart the most about our relationship, the things I remember most clearly – the answers were a little odd – just like me…….

The most obvious thing to start off with was being pregnant with The Diva. I was broken. You went shopping for me even when you were struggling financially, you kept me company even when your life was biting back, you listened to my endless maudlin monologues despite the fact that you probably wanted to tear your hair out at the replays.

Over the years I’ve relied on your friendship for a variety of reasons, but through my last pregnancy I really needed you, more so than ever before – and you were there for me. There were times I felt that I couldn’t go a step further. I experienced the blackest depression and if not for the fact that I knew I could hide at your house, I truly believe I would not have made it through.

Ok so that’s the really big stuff, well barring that magnificent stove you bought for me…….still reeling from that……

You kept me warm……..literally. Of all the people I have known, you are one of the few that has ever got just how much I suffer from the cold.

‘Great Scott, she’s a Scot????’

When I was at high school I began to put on weight and would always walk with a  jersey on. I think it’s as a result of those years that I developed a complete intolerance to cold. From the earliest years I remember you running off to find wooly blankets and hot water bottles. You would literally tuck me into a cosy chair or couch before we watched a movie.

Nobody had ever done that before. It wasn’t just a once-off either. It was ALWAYS!

Yeah I know, you saved my life, fed me for years, taught me a million ways to improve my world and this is what I remember most?…

It gets worse….

Harry Potter! You introduced me to Harry Potter. And for the next 10 years of books and movies I was in heaven! I have read thousands of books, but being introduced to this literally kept me joyous for years – and still does.

Angel cards – Oh the Devil, the Devil !!!!!! If not for your influence I would never have discovered the joy of readings. Your initial readings for me ignited such a spark that I eventually began buying my own cards. If not for your patience and tolerance I would have continued seeing demons in everything I didn’t understand, and have forfeited years of guidance and assistance and hope.

‘The Worst Mommy Society Crown’ – We took turns to wear that over the years! Where it was in my nature to beat myself up when I wasn’t perfect, it was in your nature to be forgiving to oneself. There were so many times that we were tired and worn down and you found a way for us to see the lighter side of mommy-hood. We would just need to look at each other to know whose turn it was that day!

An intellect that would make Einstein pause – and that’s no exaggeration! I have yet to find a subject you haven’t read and understood. In the early years I used to be quite intimidated, but that was due to my own insecurities. Later on I understood that just because my intellectual bus only ran on 3 wheels, there was no reason I couldn’t wobble along beside you. It became such a joy to listen to you explain your latest book or discovery of the planet and the Universe in general.

We know that there’s no such thing as perfection this side of the veil, we know that no matter how much we plan and connive, that we are all susceptible to the highs and lows that life throws at us.

For my part I’ve experienced so many of both – the difference for me was that no matter what I went through YOU were always there for me. You have taught and loved and forgiven me more than most. You have guided and encouraged and offered comfort to me and mine like none other. It was you, before anyone else, that realised my potential to be a writer – and here I am…

I can’t really figure out why you’ve put up with me to be quite honest, and true to the selfish part of myself I’ve learnt not to question but just to be grateful.

For all that you’ve done I want you to know I am indeed truly thankful. Your friendship has been a beautiful tapestry of love and learning, warmth and truth.

I wish I could say that I took such cherished care of you, but that sadly would be a lie. I like to think that perhaps one day I will be given the opportunity to bring joy and love and warmth to your world, but until then I must ask your forgiveness for the many times I didn’t.

You are a strong and magnificent woman. You have blessed and changed so many lives, I can only hope that all the good you have sown over the years will flood back to you.

For all that you have done I thank you, for all that you have forgiven me, I thank you.

Through your own tribulations you have walked the earth with light and love, often carrying your own sorrows alone.

My wish for you is the same as for myself:

‘May this the second half of your life be as prosperous and the first half was lacking’

‘Where you have struggled may you now find a smooth path to tread’

‘Where you have encountered lies, may you now found truth’

‘Where you have been ill and infirm may you now find healing’

‘Where you have been alone or lonely may you now be surrounded by Love’

‘May the obstacles that have hindered your life path now fade like the morning mist’

‘May the Love and Light of the Divine Mother Comfort, Protect, Prosper and Provide for not just your needs but for the greatest of your comforts’

So Shall it be

Be blessed my sister, my friend, my greatest teacher – it was not for nothing…

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15 Comments

Posted by on May 19, 2013 in Strings of Sentences

 

Tags: , , , , ,

15 responses to “My Lioness – The Extraordinary Ilona Kolbe

  1. Opinionated Man

    May 20, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    I do love me some Harry Potter as well. 😉

     
    • theforestscribe

      May 20, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      Nothing like a little escapism! With that in mind happy holidays to you and family!

       
      • Opinionated Man

        May 20, 2013 at 8:12 pm

        Thank you that is very kind. 🙂

         
      • theforestscribe

        May 20, 2013 at 9:28 pm

        You’re very welcome-also please post more beach pics, loving them!

         
      • Opinionated Man

        May 21, 2013 at 2:31 am

        🙂 Not boring?

         
      • theforestscribe

        May 21, 2013 at 7:27 am

        Nope, a few pics of the sea will never be so snap away

         
      • Opinionated Man

        May 21, 2013 at 7:30 am

        Thanks! I just had someone, actually I have a lot of “ones,” complain I am not harsh enough and my website is misleading lol. I just laugh at them though. 😉

         
      • theforestscribe

        May 21, 2013 at 8:07 am

        I have the opposite problem! My blog looks harmless enough but some of the posts are so hectic I have to put disclaimers at the top cos the girls complain I ruin their make up if they read them early morning! Tears, tears oh well! And once I know you better I might be inclined to encourage you to continue your adoption path-re: your sister-would you mind?

         
      • Opinionated Man

        May 21, 2013 at 8:17 am

        You mean as in me trying to find her?

         
      • theforestscribe

        May 21, 2013 at 8:33 am

        Going to bounce a post I want you to read – I’m at work so it’ll only be up later when I can type it quickly-for ref you gonna be H.R. on the post or knuckles-havent decided hehe!

         
      • Opinionated Man

        May 21, 2013 at 8:42 am

        🙂 Let me know.

         
      • theforestscribe

        May 22, 2013 at 6:31 am

        post done, sent you email – forgot I could reply on this thing!

         
  2. Ilona

    May 20, 2013 at 10:04 am

    I am speechless little one! I think you do me too great a justice but I will take it all in and bask in the glow of it. Thank you. It is strange to see me through your eyes,,, who would have thought:)… I love you.

     
  3. derek gallacher

    May 20, 2013 at 8:27 am

    A truly wonderful humane ,human individusl words are certainy inadequate but you expressed your love in a beautiful fashion and l’m sure the “lady” was touched.xxx

     

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