Itchy Twitchy Teacher

Last week my youngest child,The Diva, was assessed by a real live psychologist, for free, on the schools insistence. As far as I know they personally footed the bill because I was clear on the fact that I couldn’t afford it and as they said, ‘We are Desperate!’.

Hmmm, ‘Desperate’ can cost a girl.

My daughter enjoyed her assessment thoroughly. It started off well especially when the Doc introduced himself and my babe said that ‘Mommy told me to call you Doctor Quack’…….

Well since then after all the manic activity surrounding my daughters behaviour, I’ve heard nothing. Not a peep. The Diva said that ‘Doctor Quack’ may want to see her again.

So today I decided to take the bull by the horns and track down the teacher to ask what was happening. I smiled and politely asked about the progress of the assessment. There and then my earlier suspicions were finally laid to rest. A simple question reduced the woman to a twitchy, nervy mess. She launched into an intricate rundown of the kind of report he was most likely busy preparing and all the information we could expect to receive and the fact that it took time and, and, and…. Before I knew what was happening she was suggesting we see if he was available and went dashing off to find him.

I have never, ever, seen a woman walk so fast. She was positively electrified.

As I watched her back dissappear into the distance I imagined being taught by a woman who didn’t listen to your questions, was unable to answer concisely and oozed anxiety and tension with every step.

After finding his office empty, she spun around and stormed back, talking at a rate of knots and then as we passed the loos suddenly changed direction. announcing she needed the ladies, and dissappeared into the great unknown.

I was exhausted!

I don’t know what the assessment on my daughter will be, and I am thoroughly suspicious of an independent psychologist who has suddenly appeared at the school with his own offices and a whole sea of possible new clients to hook.

I do know this however, that after dealing with my child’s new teacher I am no longer confused as to why there have been so many problems in such a short time. The woman is a mess. I cannot negate my daughters stubborness or her forgetfullness but I know that faced with such manic energy on a daily basis would have the same effect on her as two large bars of chocolate!

The future is murky and holds a multitude of possibilities. As to my role in all of that, only one thing is clear – among other things, I am my daughters protector. I will not tolerate a system that forces an 8 year old child to leave the class for an entire day because she was chatting, a system that refuses to allow her to participate in music or school P.T. because she left her pencil at home or sends her to the principals office for crying in class- given that teacher, I would too!

If a grown-ass teacher is unable to control her actions, her emotions or her thought processes, how do they expect a small child to do better?

But for now we wait. She may need another session – perhaps they couldn’t find the ADD or ADHD the first time? Funny that! Equally interesting is the fact that ‘Doctor Quack’ has not asked to meet with me – one would think that meeting the parents would be vital in creating a fuller picture of the child’s life and circumstances.

But what do I know? I’m just a waitress.

Let’s hope these nice people don’t confuse my humble position in life with a humble intellect.

I would hate to be the one feeling ‘desperate’ – it just brings out the gangster in me…..





12 responses to “Itchy Twitchy Teacher”

  1. What a bunch of chancing bastards! Goof grief, parent NOT involved?? Different here, but parents need to know what they are talking about. With ALex who was diagnosed with it and ritalin, I found whenever I was around him and refused chocolate on a 24 hour basis that he was fine… a boy, yes, but not the hyper way he was with chocolate and that advice came from Elisabett, one of our Swedish au pairs who worked with hyper kids at home……ALSO they discovered Alex was a bit bored in some classes at school because he was very bright and had moved ahead of other kids and wanted to keep on going, but had to “wait” for the others to understand. Oh grrrrrrrr, as I said my programme did a documentary about this in the 90’s showing some of it was dead dodgy with useless teachers who wanted a quiet class… the kind of care staff who blast elderly alzheimers with loads of drugs and LOUD TV so they are no problem.. ask for nothing… and they can do **** all for most of the day… and er… we have done documentaries on that as well!


      • It means that I read everything before I allow it on the site just in case some sorry bastard decides to be rude or perverse when commenting – protecting your delicate sensibilities.


    • well the thing is its ONLY the older teachers pushing for ritalin, the younger ones are pulling me aside and telling me NOT to give it to her. Truth be told if not for the advice of the younger ones I may very well have gone that route, not knowing any better.


  2. I had a similar experience with my 8 year old. We took her to a psychologist for an evaluation, checking for ADD, and whatever else. The psychologist wouldn’t allow me or my wife to be present. Though alarming, we carried on to make sure nothing was really wrong. After a year of therapy and zero diagnosis we pulled her out. Since then we have helped her manage her emotions through deep breathing, some other relaxation techniques, and a diet change. We went completely vegetarian with no dyes and nothing processed. She is A/B honor roll now, and no therapy. Just some ideas that might allow you to circumvent the doctors…


    • I get so mad when I hear peoples stories. Our kids are not like us because their lives are not like ours were. The world is faster, filled to the brim with technology and food poison and yet the system is plugging the same methods that worked ‘back in the day’. Truth be told apart from the fact that she can be maddening, I really love the way she is. I love that she doesn’t give way if she’s convinced of something, I love that she daydreams, I love that she cries because she feels so deeply, I love that she’s stares ‘aimlessly’ at stuff because in her words ‘I’m thinking of the things I can make out of them’. Our kids aren’t sick, they just aren’t us. and she loooves yoga but hates vegetables…so we have a way to go yet!


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