I have always considered myself a fool – with occassional dollops of wisdom. Over the years I have read so many self – help books, and some have been wonderful. The problem with them is that there are massive gaps in the explaining from here to there. By the time the books were written the people involved had made supernatural leaps of faith and strength and were so far removed from the places they described that it was difficult to relate to them now.
The covers showed these sleek, successful people brimming with self confidence and self – love that the very sight of them would make me feel more inferior than when I started.
This blog started off to document my adoption story, expanded to include my crazy life and has stretched further to include my present journey and the lessons I have learned.
The thing I’ve realised is that fools are overflowing with wisdom, often of course unbeknown to them. Our lives are manuals of ‘How NOT to’. There are so many moms out there going through their own heartache, alone, confused and angry. If my silly life can reach just one of them, then it’s already worked a miracle. If it can teach, encourage, lead or love just one other human being then it has value for more than just me.
I purposefully write without a social filter. I write from the heart, I write as a channel for my own release and I write as a lifeline to those who have convinced themselves that they’re all alone with their struggles.
Especially now with the possibility that my child may have ADD, I write with purpose. For all those parents out there struggling to cope with the ‘shame’ of an impossibly difficult child, I write with passion. For those losing faith in finding their natural families I write with encouragement, for those struggling to find themselves I write with knowledge, wisdom and love.
I am no one from everywhere. My troubles may not be the same, but they are varied and uncountable which should make up for it. I am not particularily successful in the eyes of the world but I am in what has mattered the most to me. I am happy with who I am, excited by who I can be in the future, and relieved that I am no longer who I was in the past.
The world would have you believe that it is populated by rich and beautiful people and that you are one of the lonely exceptions. Your pain, your struggles, no matter how severe, are not unique. You are not alone on the road you’re walking, there are many of us out there. Keep going a little longer, keep your eyes open and you will see us.
My silly life may one day be considered magnificent by the world at large. But for right now it’s hanging around the mediocre steps, and funny enough it still fills me with joy!
So aim high, aim low, just make sure you aim in the direction of your heart and you’ll get to where you need to go and if you’re doing it with your eyes open, you’ll get there with a truck load of friends, who look just like you….and me…
and that’s good enough!