My daughter does not have ADD or ADHD.…say what…?
This morning I went off to meet the psychologist for the feedback session on my daughter’s assessment.
For those of you who didn’t read the looong saga that went before – Her teacher and principal said she was ‘out of control’ and showing signs of ADD and started on about putting her on Ritalin. I refused – point blank, repeatedly.
They insisted on an assessment which I couldn’t afford and because they were ‘desperate’ they decided to foot the bill in an effort to get a professional on their side.
This chap has an office at the school which he uses part time. The first words out of his mouth were that he was an independent practitioner and although he works from the school he pays rent and is not beholden to their opinion in any way.
Things were looking up.
The assessment was fascinating. It’s quite a long and involved process of play therapy, story telling and writing, questions and IQ testing. I was also asked before the assessment to complete about a 10 page form with details from birth till now.
The short version of what we discovered was that she was very bright in all areas with the exception of story problems where she bombed completely, which frankly explained her attitude of rebellion when faced with maths work – she just didn’t understand.
The stories she wrote were incredible. We had both experienced trauma with the death of my father who died of cancer and the ‘Attack of the Hobbit’ and a variety of lesser upheavals. It all came out in her writing. I had no idea that she had experienced any of it so deeply.
Kids translate so differently to us and because I didn’t see the stress I assumed she was OK.
I was horribly wrong. The same themes were reproduced in all her stories over and over again. It was a real shocker. The theme of her mis-behaviour tied up perfectly with the trauma she had felt. Despite that, her stories also showed her own belief in her ability to handle difficulty, which was very interesting and encouraging to see in such a little person.
The end result is that I have agreed to send her for play therapy to allow her to work through the things that have knocked her off-course. My daughter took to ‘Psycho Bob’ immediately so he will continue working with her, not only to help her to resolve emotional issues but also to identify the areas where she needs extra assistance at school.
After chatting to him I have also discovered areas where I need to ‘ up my game’ so to speak. We identified areas where I need to connect more, we chatted about how I could help her get more organised. He explained that despite the fact that I was exhausted half the time, I still needed to ensure that she had one-on-one time every day, even if only for 15 minutes. In his words ’15 minutes giving her all the love and cuddles she needs sure beats hours of fighting and conflict because she’s looking for it.’
Good point that……
As to the school – they must be spitting nails by now!
No quick fix, no short route to salvation, just good old fashioned patience and understanding…and to think they paid for this advice – Bummer!
Added to that it’s not little o’l me alone against the system anymore. If they treat her badly my daughter now has an adult she can tell, an adult who is a position to hold them accountable.
So one journey ends, and another begins…
‘Psycho Bob’ reckons that from what he can see she’ll prob only need about 2 months of counselling – with my co-operation of course, to say nothing of her school’s…..
When all is said and done my daughter will be able to off-load the ‘junk in her trunk’ and I have no doubt she’ll be a lot less demanding once she does. But that said, she isn’t called ‘The Diva’ for nothing…
My babes personality will always be a vibrant palette made up of artistic, creative, independent, determined, and emotional hues…and truly those are all the things I love best about her.
They’re also the things the school hates the most…..
Sucks for them doesn’t it!