Oh Dear, I Don’t Seem to Exist!

The Ghosts of Africa

I recently applied for an unabridged copy of my birth certificate in the unlikely event that I would one day find a way to have my Scottish heritage restored to me and mine.

After 6 months of waiting and calling to see when it would be ready I was sent an sms from the department of Home affairs to tell me that I had to come in and complete the Late Registration forms…… ummm, say what?

Years back when I applied for an ID book I also had to wait months until they eventually contacted me and said I didn’t exist but they were going to issue me an ID Number so that I could get my book….. excuse me, is that even legal ????

So this is what I think I know about myself:

I was given up for adoption by my Scottish mother, but the only consent paper I’ve seen was not signed by her…

I was adopted by a family that doesn’t seem to have registered me …

I am not 44 because I only began existing a few years ago when I was issued an ID number that probably belongs to someone else’s dead chihuahua….

I am almost South African and almost Scottish…..

Sweden is nice at this time of year isn’t it, maybe I’ll call them and ask if they have a spare identity lying around…..

I’d probably get it in the post with a nice sticker book…..and a bottle of peroxide for my chestnut curls…

Can I cry now………..please?