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ANC Comrade Handbook

31 Oct


anc bedtime story

Dear Comrades

It has come to our attention that some members of the Majestic ANC are ill eqipped to perform the tasks set out by our esteemed leaders.

Without this cohesion our party will crumble to dust!!!

The following must be carried at all times, by all comrades:

1. ANC T-shirts – Please be advised – the representation of our party is diminished when our comrades enter into the political arena without the proper dress.

Yellow ANC sloganed shirts ONLY.

NB!!! No blue may be allowed at any time, for any reason, red is also not good.

2. Government sticks (we have found that knocking flint together to set fire to tyres is far too time consuming).

3. Sjamboks – throwing stones may only be permitted if one has proven oneself (before a high ranking party member) to have superb aim – all others must use sjamboks!

3. Pangas – they can’t do ballistics testing on them – ha ha ha!

4. Porta Potty buckets – this is perhaps the most important item. Please ensure that you have taken the time to completely fill your bucket before arriving for duty. NB! Both body fluids are required. Any comrade found slacking in this area WILL be disciplined!

Following the above rules are vital.

Remember comrades, our party has been chosen by God Himself – would God send his angels to war without their wings?

We think not.

Should any of you die, or kill, while on duty, be advised that heaven grants favours to your family for generations to come.The ancestors will be happy too.

Please Note: death by accident NOT applicable

And lastly, because we understand that you are working hard for the cause, we will ensure that all comrades who are correctly attired and equipped, will each receive a box of chicken and 500ml coke at the end of shift (which will be deducted from the housing and development fund of your choice).

Strength in our superioritee

Comrade Chancellor

porta potty

that is NOT cooldrink……and why is it green?

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2 Comments

Posted by on October 31, 2013 in South Africa - Lost or Found?

 

Tags: , , , , ,

2 responses to “ANC Comrade Handbook

  1. Johnny Ojanpera

    October 31, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Is this an actual excerpt?

     

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