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When elastic wins through…

 

Mother never warned me about That!

Mother never warned me about That!

Over 40, great hair, a winning smile………..and a great big belly?

Yep, welcome to the club!!!!

I lead an excessively active lifestyle. Between the restaurant I work in and the the child I work on – I never stop! I should be gorgeous, people should stop and admire my middle-aged brilliance, shouldn’t they….

When 45 came and went, my body instantly, and without the slightest apology, loaded my middle with a floppy tire. My daughter took one look and exclaimed ‘Oh my God, you look like you’re melting!’

I felt wonderful.

So I excercised and drank water and relied on my past weight – burning ability to kick in and rid me of the dreaded ooze and……. Nada! I may as well have sat on my arse and eaten pizza all day for all the good it did me. To add insult to injury it’s also quite squishy, clearly a different breed of alien from that nice firm fat we’re accustomed to.

This afternoon, in utter desperation I found myself looking for elastisized denims, like my mother used to wear. As I wept in shame and covered myself with sack cloth and ashes in the changing rooms, I realised that I was one step away from looking like Homer Simpson for the rest of my life.

It was time to take action! It was time to Google.

Now I won’t bore you with silly details, I’m depressed enough without still explaining this horror in detail. The bottom line is that as we head to middle age, visceral fat begins to push out the abdominal wall and your middle begins to grow and grow and grow…..and worst of all – you don’t necessarily even put on weight!

Worse – because before you discover this delightful fact, you might quite possibly have driven yourself mental (as I did), trying to figure out how in heavens name you cannot even squeeze into your denims when the scale hasn’t moved so much as an inch.

And there’s better news ahead – sweating buckets doing sit ups probably won’t work!

Hahahahahahaha!

God we’re screwed!

Basically targeting the stomach area with excercise will strengthen the muscles but in order to drastically reduce the stomach we HAVE TO do aerobic excercises to burn the sucker right off! (to say nothing of drinking gallons of water and eating better).

The good news however, is that after the shock of seeing your new muffin blob smile at you as it oozes out from under your favourite tank top, you do now know that what has attacked you is normal. It was always going to happen….

It is a peri-menopausal killmenow.com occurrance in your mid 40’s and even the skinny chicks are gonna get one – albeit a tad smaller.

So live with it or run it off, whatever you decide it’s here to stay – in one form or another – lovely neh?

For those just dying to punish themselves with the specifics there’s a few fun articles waiting for you on the links below:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Womens_Health_Watch/2010/August/taking-aim-at-belly-fat

http://www.mylifestages.org/health/weight/belly_fat_women.page

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/5-steps-conquering-your-over-40-belly

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on August 18, 2014 in Strings of Sentences

 

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